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It's important to realize several things about anger before you
start tackling it. First, anger is a normal process that has allowed
humans to evolve and adapt. It isn't a bad thing in itself, but
problems occur if it isn't managed in the right way.
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Anger
is also a mixture of both emotional and physical changes. A big
surge of energy goes through your body as chemicals, such as
adrenaline, are released.
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Once the cause of the anger is resolved, you may still have to deal
with the physical effects - all that energy has to go somewhere.
This can be taken out on another person, such as a partner, or an
object - by punching a wall, for example. This last option can lead
down the road to self-harm.
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The other alternative is to suppress the energy until the next time
you're angry. This may mean you release so much pent-up emotion that
you overreact to the situation. Realising this can lead to feelings
of shame
or frustration when
you reflect on your actions, and to further repression of your
feelings.
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On the other hand, just letting your anger go in an uncontrolled
fashion can lead to a move from verbal aggression to physical abuse
- don't forget, the other person is probably feeling angry with you
too.
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But there is a flip side to anger. Because of the surge of energy it
creates, it can be pleasurable. This feeling is reinforced if
becoming angry allows the release of feelings of frustration, or if
a person's response to your anger gives you a sense of power.
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It's important to acknowledge and keep an eye on this side of the
problem - it can have an almost addictive element.
